Guys that Deserve the Madden Jinx

| August 9, 2010 | 1 Comment

The most famous sports video game ever produced hits shelves tomorrow.  The biggest question every year regarding the video game’s release: who is the unfortunate sucker who will suffer the inevitable annual Madden jinx.  This year’s sucker is Super Bowl XLIV MVP, Drew Brees.  I know one guy who won’t be quarterbacking my fantasy football team.


Since 1999, the game has featured a current player on the cover and like clockwork, that player (or those players) have experienced a decline in performance, often times due to injury.  It’s a shame that Brees is on this year’s cover because he’s somebody that’s easy to root for.  If I were the Cover Choice Coordinator, I would have gone in a different direction.  I would have been happy to pick any of these guys, who I think deserve the jinx…

Ben Roethlispervert – Ben rushes into bathroom stalls more often than a guy on a Taco Bell diet…


Chris Johnson – First he wants to race Ted Ginn, Jr. during a party in South Beach.  Then there were talks about a race against Usain Bolt (for the record, one gambling site had Bolt at 1/10 odds).  What next, he’ll challenge Guyism.com’s Isaac to a race to the toilet after a trip to Old Country Buffet?  That was my last bathroom joke, I promise.



Brett Favre – Enough said.



Philip Rivers – Rivers isn’t good enough to be the cover boy and I’m quite happy about that.  Some view him as an ultra competitor, I view him as a punk.  Hey Phil, don’t you think you should be an example for all twelve of your kids?







Bill Belichick – It’s about time this ass got some bad luck (yeah, I remember Brady’s knee injury, but Matt Cassel filled in just fine).    



Pete Carroll - This guy walked away scott free from the USC/Reggie Bush fiasco and acts like he had absolutely nothing to do with it.  Normally I feel weird calling a guy in his late 50′s a bouche dag, but I’ll make an exception in this case.  Hey Pete, you’re a major bouche dag.



Ed Werder – Whether it’s Terrell Owens, Brett Favre or Lindsay Lohan, this clown always seems to be in somebody’s back pocket.  I’m sick of seeing his ugly mug reporting useless information.  At least put his mustache on the radio.  



Matt Millen - The City of Detroit still resents this oaf even though it’s been almost two years since he last marred the Lions.  For a guy who now talks for a living, you’d think he would know to keep his foot out of his fat mouth (see his polack remark toward Ron Jaworski, his gay slur toward former Lions WR Johnnie Morton and his “devout coward” comment toward an unidentified Bears defensive player).  Before he hits air one time this season, somebody needs to serve Millen some lemon extract like Slater did to Zack during the Bayside theme song episode.



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  1. Boomer Fan says:
    August 9, 2010 at 12:51 pm

    Jinx 'em all !!!

    Reply

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Tim is the founder and author of It’s Always Sunny In Detroit. Born and raised north of "The D", he was hands down the fastest kid on the playground (go ahead, race him). In his glory days as a Big Ten baseballer, Tim often thought about dating Jennifer Love Hewitt. After he hung ‘em up and got real, he graduated from law school and came back to Detroit to keep it sunny. Tim knows his stuff – and his stuff is sports (the games), sports (the business), funny clips, pretty ladies...and of course, sports.
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