The 10 Biggest Reasons the Lions are Losers
The Detroit Lions have not had a winning record since 2000. Since then, they have a combined 35-118 record. They have been the only NFL team in history to go 0-16 (in 2008) and this past Sunday they lost their 25th consecutive road game, setting a new NFL record for most road games lost in a row. Whose record did they break? The 2001-2003 Detroit Lions, who lost 24 consecutive road tilts.
So why are the Lions so awful? We have ten major factors. It’s Always Sunny in Detroit shows why it’s rarely sunny in the Lions den…
Perpetrator #1
William Clay Ford Sr. – Talk about a guy who doesn’t give one rip about winning football games. He owns the Lions for one reason – to make money. The thing is, if Ford Field is empty for all ten home games (preseason included), he’s still making cash. Thank you, television contract. With little competition, he might be the worst owner in sports.
Perpetrator #2
Matt Millen – During his time (2001-2007), the Lions compiled a 31-81 record and a .277 winning percentage – the third worst ever by an NFL team over seven seasons. His effort and results were flat out PATHETIC.
Perpetrator #3
Marty Mornhinweg – The head coach in 2001 and 2002, this motorcycle riding nut compiled a 5-27 record. He came to Detroit thinking his hot shot offensive schemes would excel. He ended up taking the wind after winning the coin toss in an overtime game against the Bears. Mornhinweg quickly became known as “Moron”-weg. And by the way, that isn’t a play chart in his hand, it’s a menu.
Perpetrator #4
Dominic Raiola – It’s an absolute crime that he’s taken over $30 million from WCF, Sr. Granted, WCF, Sr. deserves it. Anyway, this clown is known more for his outbursts toward fans (see obscence gestures and challenging fans to come to his house to fight), false starts and dirty blocks than good football. It isn’t a coincidence that the Lions depression started the year Raiola was drafted.
Perpetrator #5
The First Round Receivers – Byproducts of a joke of a GM (see #2), Charles Rogers, Roy Williams and Mike Williams were taken second, seventh and tenth overall respectively from 2003-2005. These jokers combined for 97 games played, 335 catches for 4,773 yards and 35 touchdowns. Atrocius results for their draft status.
Perpetrator #6
Matthew Stafford’s shoulder - Stafford has proven to be worthy of being a franchise quarterback…IF he can stay healthy. Notice the big if. The offense and team as a whole is 100% different with Stafford on the field. He’s a tough kid who has had some tough luck. He needs to stay get healthy and stay healthy or the franchise will be set back another five years.
Perpetrator #7
Bobby Ross – Ross abruptly resigned after a 5-4 start in 2000 because his team wouldn’t “fight back”, but later said it was due to blood clots in his legs. Had Ross been healthy and/or stayed the course, who knows what would have come of this franchise. I’ll tell ya one thing, it wouldn’t have been worse.
Perpetrator #8
Rod (Verysmelly) Marinelli – His favorite line following EVERY loss was, “well, we need to go to the tape”. He was the smartest guy in the room because he had game film awaiting him. Well, I watched a fair share of your games, Rod, and didn’t need the tape to tell you that your teams were terrible. A nice man, but nice doesn’t cut it when your team is 10-38 over three years.
Perpetrator #9
Tom Lewand – Lewand might have the most overstated title in the city. When your company and business market themselves and make money just being there, what purpose does the COO/President of one of the worst companies in sport serve? That’s Lewand. Oh, and if being one of the main cogs of a disgraceful franchise isn’t enough to get one fired, I guess getting pulled over with a 0.20 blood alcohol level shouldn’t be either. (See #1). Get a clue, WCF.
Perpetrator #10
Barry Sanders – Sanders shocked the city, state and the sport by retiring at the start of training camp in 1999. One of the classiest people around, I don’t think he took enough heat for leaving the Lions high and dry without an explanation. He spun away from the Lions just like he spun away from opposing linebackers. In his defense though, he got the last laugh.
Bonus Perpetrator
Gridiron Heroes – It’s the worst flippin’ fight song EVER. “Forward down the field…” To go Chandler Bing on ya, could it BE any further from the truth? “…down the field again, a Lion victory!” No way, Jose.
Gridiron Heroes – It’s the worst flippin’ fight song EVER. “Forward down the field…” To go Chandler Bing on ya, could it BE any further from the truth? “…down the field again, a Lion victory!” No way, Jose.
Other Hot Lions Sunny D stuff:
Pure Michigan: Lions Fans
Category: Detroit Lions, Lists
Create A Bumper Sticker
Loading ...
Honorable mention: Jeff Backus
what about roary??
Isaac beat me to it. Rag-doll Raiola and Flat on my Backus go hand in hand. Also, don't forget Joey Blue-Skies. This is exactly like the Chicago Black Hawks situation. Nothing good will happen, until the old man croaks.
Backus probably should have been mentioned. But, I think he's been playing out of position his whole career. He was never an NFL left tackle. Plus, Backus has quietly stunk. Raiola's garbage has been much more public with the threats, taunts, etc. He defines loser.
Barry left the team high and dry for one season at one position. The Lions had plenty of time to go out and acquire a competent running back after that season. Barry's the only reason this team was relevant in the 90s, so I'm not a fan of fans blaming Barry for anything more than the one year he ditched them at the last minute.
You forgot losing to the (until then) winless Bills. Haha suckers! 0-16!
To all loyal Lions fans :
THEY WILL NOT BE A WINNER UNTIL YOU STOP BUYING TICKETS !!!!
William Clay Ford will not get the message until he is losing money.
I have to defend Barry. He is/was one of the most talented and classiest players in the history of the NFL. He left town the only way that he knew how, as quietly as possible (until the press and some "fans" lambasted him). Why did he leave? My opinion is – he got sick and tired of busting his ass, playing for a consistently worse than mediocre, poor excuse for a pro football team.
Get some real cheerleaders.