It’s not me, it’s you. I once thought that I loved you and that I would grow old loving you. I would have given you the liberty of doing anything that want. You could have molded me into any man that you wished. I would have been your pawn.
It breaks my heart, but I can no longer think about seeing you anymore. I have learned through your interview with ESPN’s Colin Cowherd that you’re a University of Michigan fan. I know you’re young and naive, but you’d enjoy life so much more if you were a fan of any other school in the nation (save maybe Notre Dame).
I know that we’ve never actually met and that I’m just some chump who posts pictures and videos of you on the internet, but we I would have had a good time. Despite all banging body, sense of humor and your playful attitude, all I see is maize and blue. And because of this, I hope that U of M lets you down at every chance possible.
It was nice never knowing you,
PS – Call me.
Upton revealed to ESPN’s Colin Cowherd that she and her family are Michigan football fans. Cowherd mistakenly said that Upton attended U of M. She said that, “Every year, we have a huge family reunion after Thanksgiving and go to the Ohio State-Michigan game.” Upton was born in St. Joseph, Michigan, but was raised in Melbourne, Florida.
It’s a darn shame that it won’t be bikini season in November come 2013 when the O$U-UM game will be in Ann Arbor again. There won’t be any of this going on…
Tim is the founder and author of It’s Always Sunny In Detroit. Born and raised north of "The D", he was hands down the fastest kid on the playground. In his glory days as a Big Ten baseballer, Tim often thought about dating Jennifer Love Hewitt. After he hung ‘em up and got real, he graduated from law school and came back to Detroit. He has been keeping it sunny ever since.