I’ve always been baffed by The Players Championship in golf, which started Thursday in Florida. I thought golf was supposed to be a gentleman’s game. You know, you wear nicely pressed pants, a polo shirt buttoned to the collar, white shoes, a preppy visor and a white belt if that’s your style.
But for The Players Championship, I’d expect a guy to show up sporting an Ed Hardy t-shirt, Diesel jeans and 45 sprays of Coolwater. Players and golf just don’t mix to me.
The Players Championship should be reserved for one struggling golfer in particular and player (or playas) from other sports, not stiff white guys like Jim Furyk, Stewart Cink and David Toms. We bring the players who should be competing for The Players Championship and their ultra-impressive lists of trophies.
Jeter would be a slicing machine with his inside-out swing. But he’s the current leader in the clubhouse with Minka Kelly, the Jessicas (Biel and Alba), Gabrielle Union, Adriana Lima, Jordana Brewster, Vanessa Minnillo, Scarlett Johannson, Mariah Carey, Vida Guerra, your hot high school English teacher and your girlfriend.
Tony Romo is the poor man’s Joe Namath of today. Namath seemed overhyped because he played in The Apple. Romo is overhyped because he plays for Jerry Jones. Namath has the ring, but Romo has had the blondes. I’m sure that Broadway Joe had his fair share of blondes, but he didn’t bag Jessica Simpson and Carrie Underwood before setting down with Candice Crawford. You’ll click the J-Simp pic if you know what’s good for ya.
Eldrick let the best and cleanest of the bunch get away in Elin Nordegren. But in the meantime, he had coffee and shared STDs with Rachel Uchitel, Jamie Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, Joslyn James, Loredana Jolie, Julie Postle, Theresa Rogers, Raychel Coudriet.
Soccer players get the nice exotic women and Ronaldo has enjoyed enough for the U.S. Army, Navy and state of Oregon. It must be something about the small white shorts that cause women to lineup. Take a freakin’ number for this Real Madrid star. We could be here all day. Other than Kim Kardashian, Irina Shayk and Paris Hilton, names aren’t necessary. Check his roster there. The highlights:
The New York Jets quarterback has done well for himself since moving to NYC in 2009. Before dating Tim Tebow, Sanchez tried his hardest to look cool with Kate Upton, Jaime-Lynn Sigler, Eliza Kruger, Hilary Rhoda, Jennifer Mueller and ESPN’s Lindsay McCormick.
When ARod left his husband in 2008, it was game on. Since then, he’s gotten weird with big names like wrestling belle Torri Wilson, Kate Hudson, Cameron Diaz and Bethany Frankel and no-names like Melissa Britos, Elaine Spottswood, Alicia Marie and Maritza Franco.
@BizNasty2point0 in the Twitterverse, Bissonnette (the dude pictured below) makes his living getting his nose busted playing hockey fighting for the Phoenix Coyotes. This guy had his time with adult film chick Bibi Jones (big pic) and he’s also been a breathing version of Tupac’s “I Get Around”.
Former Major League batting practice machine was playing in Japan this season until he got up and left the country. He couldn’t handle it being away from American women for too long. He’s thrown fastballs to Karina Smirnoff, Eliza Dushku and (Samantha Micelli) Alyssa Milano.
The guy who used to used to blow a kiss to his wife while at the foul line, Kidd has blown kisses to a handful since, that included Dirk Nowitzki when he rode Dirk’s coattails to an NBA ring last season. In order, Joumana Samaha (the ex-wife), Hope Dworaczyk, May Andersen and Porschla Coleman all have better bodies than the gangly German.
When Gronk isn’t catching touchdowns or benching the neighborhood, he’s living a 24/7 spring break life. Gronk does work…and he may or may not have…or maybe he may have gotten cozy with Miss Bibi Jones.