2012 Summer Olympics’ 50 Best Names
We still have half of the 2012 Olympic games left and we have already been privy to some tremendous moments. Gabby Douglas’ gold medal in the women’s gymnastics’ all-around, Michael Phelps’ last career swim, Alex Morgan’s timely header against Canada. The American athletes have represented our country well (save Ryan Lochte) and for that we should thank them.
But Americans make up a small portion of the almost 11,000 athletes in London. Athletes from other countries have contributed to a great first week too. Our list wouldn’t be complete without them. The IASID research guy took to the interwebs and casted his vote for the fifty best names of the 2012 summer games.
But before we start, please save the “that’s racist” comments for a rainy day. I called them the “best” names – not the the funniest or dumbest or most fortunate. And they can all be verified here
1. Lamusi A — China – judo — If judo doesn’t work out, he’ll always have the first-in-the-alphabet thing going for him.
2. Khalil Maumoud K Abir Abdelrahman — Egypt – weightlifting — Fit that name on the back of a uniform or an ocean liner…I dare ya.
3. Endurance Abinuwa — Nigeria – 4×400 relay — With a name like that, you’d think they’d let her run more than one leg of that relay.
4. Lady Andrade — Colombia – women’s soccer — If she married Will Ferrell in Old School, do you think Vince Vaughn would’ve said, “you’re the lady, Lady?” I do.
5. Aye Aye Aung — Myanmar – women’s judo — This chick is a hit at Greek weddings. ”Hey, hey, hey, hey!”
6. Jack Bauer — New Zealand – cycling — You should see this guy detonate bombs while wearing full spandex.
7. Quentin Bigot — France – hammer throw — I thought I said to keep race 0ut of it, Quentin.
8. Philipp Boy — Germany – artistic gymnastics — If I was an artistic gymnast, it’d be alright if my dad hated me and I’d never let Phillip finish a routine without saying “yeahhhhh booyyyeeeee!”
9. Andreas Bube — Denmark – track, 800m — Do you think Mrs. Bube has nice…nevermind.
10. Nathan Burgers — Australia – men’s hockey — He’s much cooler than his cousins Steve Lasagna and Bob Fish ‘N Chips.
11. Imran, Rehan and Linus Butt — Pakistan men’s hockey, Pakistan men’s hockey and Germany men’s hockey respectively – And they aren’t as cool as their cousins Tom Foot and Gary Balls.
12. Shuo Cao — China – triple jump — Yeah, get out of here, cow!
13. Chi Yip Cheung — Hong Kong – judo — My dog Chip agrees that Alex Morgan is smokin’ hot, but Mr. Cheung is easily his favorite Olympian.
14. Freedom Chiya — South Africa – MEN’S beach volleyball — Winner of the girliest man name – next to Sarah Jones, the Canadian male swimmer…and I just made up Sarah Jones.
15. Blessing Okagbare — Nigeria – women’s track & field — Dear Mr. and Mrs. Okagbare, Every parent thinks their child is a blessing. We also all think our child is cute, but we would never name her that.
16. Hope Solo — United States, women’s soccer — See, I’m including American athletes too.
17. Ki Ho Choi — Hong Kong – cycling — You’ll never unlock that door unless you use the ki ho.
18. Karen Cockburn — Canada – trampoline — I think I speak for every guy here when I say “not again”…I mean, no…
19. Dave Davies — Great Britain – swimming 1500m freestyle — You couldn’t have gone with John or Bill or even Ki Ho?
20. Willem de Beer — South Africa – men’s 4x400m relay – I’m not a fan. I prefer de vodka tonic.
21. Deni Deni — Indonesia – weightlifting men’s 69kg — Deni Deni, who can I turn to? 867-5309…
22. Ning Ding — China – women’s table tennis — Imagine if Yao proposed to her, it’d be Ning Ding Ming’s ring.
23. Dong Dong – China – trampoline — Special.
24. Sergey Fedorovtsev — Russia – men’s rowing — You don’t have to be a Red Wings fan to appreciate this one.
25. Beatriz Fernandez Ibanez — Spain – women’s handball — The modern-day Waldo Faldo Geraldo – the best character on Family Matters
26. Florian Fuchs — Germany – men’s hockey — This guy had NBC execs scrambling for the FCC handbook.
27. Michael Fuchs — Germany – tennis, mixed doubles — This guy had NBC execs scrambling for the FCC handbook.
28. Kathryn Fudge — Great Britain – women’s handball — No relation to Florian or Michael Fuchs.
29. Atsumi Fukumoto — Japan – rowing — What happened to “Hello, Moto”?
30. Miho Fukumoto — Japan – women’s soccer — Motorola’s worst nightmare
31. Julia Goerges — Germany – tennis — Who wrote this article? Oh yeah, a guy named Goergs.
32. Yue Guo — China – women’s table tennis — Yue Guo, girl.
33. Kum Ok Han — Korea – women’s 55kg freestyle wrestling — Nope.
34. Yoo-Mi Han — Korea – women’s volleyball — This poor chick had one heck of a time during A Night at the Roxbury
35. Destinee Hooker — USA – women’s volleyball — The only thing that could’ve made Hooker a worse last name is giving your daughter a stripper name…and they went there.
36. Kerry Hore — Australia – rowing — Yep, that’d be female rowing.
37. Abubaker Kaki — Sudan – men’s 800m — There’s a fine line between being confident and Kaki.
38. Dudu Karakaya — Turkey – women’s 5000m — Really, you named your daughter after crap?!
39. <insert first name> Kim — Guess how many Kim’s there are in this year’s Olympics. The answer is below.
40. Annie Last — Great Britain – mountain bike cycling — Poor Annie never stood a chance.
41. Sarah McLaughlin — New Zealand – women’s soccer — She sung my senior class song in high school – talk about multi-talented.
42. Miao Miao — Australia – women’s table tennis — My cat, Buddy, was jealous when my pup Chip was mentioned earlier. Thanks, Meow.
43. German Sanchez Sanchez — Mexico – men’s diving — His biggest competitor: Irish Tebow Tebow.
44. Dariya Sharipova — Ukraine – women’s shooting — The dream phone call of every guy in Olympic Village – “Hi, Ms. Sharipova would like to meet with you…” Suckers.
45. Amanda Sister — South Africa – women’s soccer — Hey Amanda Sister, ain’t that Mister Mister on the radio, the stereo, The way you move ain’t fair, you know
46. Go Soeda — Japan – men’s tennis — In the midwest, we’re cheering for pop.
47. Yoshie Takeshita — Japan – women’s volleyball — She could have taken anything else and she decides to take that.
48. Liam Tancock — Great Britain – men’s swimming — That’s much better than the alternative – Liam Sunburned…
49. Foo Ee Yeo — Singapore – men’s 100m sprinter — Singapore’s collective reaction when Yeo didn’t medal? ”Dangit!” Not Foo Ee.
50. Lukasz Zygadlo — Poland – men’s volleyball — The last name in the Olympics alphabet – what a screwed up alphabet.
Also getting votes: Luka Spik – Slovenia – men’s rowing; Cancan Ren – China – women’s boxing; William Priddy – USA – men’s volleyball; Tim Lips – Netherlands – equestrian; Oliver Buff – Switzerland – soccer; Lars Boom – Netherlands – cycling; John Smith – South Africa; Saeid Mohammadpourkarkaragh– Iran – weightlifter
Answer: There are 82 athletes with the last name Kim participating for the Republic of Korea, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and Russia.
Category: Featured, Funny, Lists, Other, Recent National
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***APPLAUSE***
How do you not have Dinko Jukic and Epke Zonderland?
Because I thought 58 other names were better.
Very funny. Haven’t laughed like that in a while. The names are comical-the comments are hysterical! Well done.
Appreciate the comment, Navyman Bill. Appreciate your work even more.
How about the north Korean weightlifter,
Kum Sok Kim?
Hilarious !!!