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Derek Jeter’s Starting Lineup of Women
- Updated: June 26, 2013
Derek Jeter turned 39 today (June 26). He has won five World Series rings is a 12-time All Star, has five Gold Gloves and four Silver Sluggers. He leads the Yankees in most career games played (2,451), stolen bases (340) and at-bats (9,974). He is the Major League Baseball all-time leader for hits as a shortstop (3,130).
With all the hardball accolades Jetes has racked up, the most impressive thing about him is his cast of women.
Jeter can have a new girl at his pad as quickly as he used to go from first to third (the old legs ain’t what they used to be). His bed pole contains a list of all stars and surefire Hall of Famers. To the best of our knowledge, none of these women have received the Derek Jeter Special – signed memorabilia waiting in your taxi after a one-night stand.
From 1 to 9 (plus a utilitybabe), Jeter’s lineup is the best in the biz.
Kelly leads off and plays SS. The two dated off and on from 2008 until a couple months ago. Jeter’s two Gold Gloves during this time turned to platinum after touching this dime.
Hitting second and playing center field, Biel is a five tool woman if there ever was one. We don’t give a darn if she can act, we’ll play the price of admission to ogle at her for a couple hours.
We have Alba hitting third and playing second because we’d love to see her turn a pair with Minka Kelly at short. Talk about a dream keystone combo.
Union will catch and hit fourth. D-Wade’s current girl can do it all. She’s the seasoned vet of the bunch at 39 years old. Her best movie may have been her first – She’s All That. And while she wasn’t the she in She’s All That, she very well could have been.
Lima will bat fifth and play left field because that’s where she comes from on this roster. She’s almost a surprise addition to the lineup as she only had a short fling with Jeter back in 2003. She was Derek’s secret shortly after she met Victoria.
The Fast and the Furious babe will work the hot corner and bat sixth. This Brazilian is the unsung hero of this group. She makes third base look cold.
Nick Lachey’s wife will hit seventh and play right field. She needs to play somewhere right? She’s past her prime, but she can definitely still hang with the big boys.
ScarJo will DH and hit eighth. The designated blonde definitely brings some playable assets to the table. She’s had a few slower years, but she has the ability to bounce back at any time.
Mariah hits ninth and plays first because she was the first. Back in the late 90′s, Jeter was a big star. Mariah was a big star. Nowadays, Jeter is still a star and Mariah is just…big.
Guerra is warming up in the ‘pen. She has a good base, great leg drive and really has strong hips. Her mound just fits on the mound.
Hannah Davis – Utilitybabe